The Dreadnought Hoax

by Tommy Tiger

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credits

released December 25, 2018

written, performed and produced by tommy tiger / recorded and mixed in ellemford, berwickshire, scotland / drums by troy bolero / bass by barnaby ladykiller / backing vocals by mary ball and esther keen / mastered by stuart hamilton at castlesound studios, pencaitland, scotland / artwork and photos by leonie wharton and troy bolero / all songs copyright control / p and c 2018 british sounds / tommytiger.co

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Track Name: How To Deal With The Dead
How To Deal With The Dead

The scene of a crime / The women and wine
She’s killing this game / And moving away
To home and beyond / Where the hope is still strong
Where alles ist gut / Alles ist klar
The forced embraces / In alien places
The’s ten stops down on the line
And all the fire in her eyes / She’ll stoke it she’ll laugh
Give in to human demands

What do you mean of course there’s a point here
It’s you know… mmm mmm
Remember when… oh just think of something
That’s the deal so it goes

Nothing you learn / And nothing you earn
Will fall out unburned / Of the bonfire
The kink in the Rhine / The peace in our time
Everything goes / And everyone knows
That the canny choices of the armed forces
Promise to fight for our lives
With them on the high ground and us on the low
We all know the way this’ll go

What do you mean of course there’s a point here
It’s you know… mmm mmm
Remember when… oh just think of something
That’s the deal so it goes
Track Name: One In The Eye
One In The Eye

Burn your fingers burning crosses
Burning leading men
It’s probably your DNA that’s out
Cover me in kisses oh you cover them in blows
It’s probably your hormones up the spout

You reach high get one in the eye
Took a chance got crucified
Burn next year’s wood supply
Slow and sure get one in the eye

Get it over, pull the lever, just get this deed done
The fickle world of providence and primates
Do your press-ups, join a gym and read the Art of War
Be care what you wish for when you’re out

You reach high get one in the eye
Took a chance got crucified
Burn next year’s wood supply
Slow and sure got one in the eye

You crossed the line humbled and troubled
Like Jesus Christ facing his mother

Come on slutty come on mermaid come on mucky pup
The world’s a rogue and bad things just got worse

You said you got to
Reach high get one in the eye
Took a chance got vilified
So make sure you’re a passerby
Slow and sure in a suit and tie
You reach get one in the eye
Track Name: Girl From The West Country
The Girl From The West Country

And never mind, the shame became
Unbearable, repackaged again
Republican, an Elvis fan
He lost his voice and then his man
So critical of modern man
A campfire host with castanets
I knew him before he was gay
And now he’s in my family way

Fears grow for passing eras
That’s a fear I understand
Or could you say he was the girl from the West country?

He crossed the room fully grown
Escaped from our old people’s home
A breach of trust, a promised land
He lost his voice and then his man
But does it matter what you saw
You think you’ve seen it all before
The situation in the corner shop
Was nothing like you’d seen before so

Fears grow for passing eras
That’s a fear I understand
Or could you say he was the girl from the West country?
Track Name: Meanwhile Down In Babylon
Meanwhile Down In Babylon

You got me quartered in hut one
You march your guard dogs on the hour
You want me living hand to mouth
But watch your back cos I’ll break out

And though your search lights point me out
And though your barbed wire pins me down
One day parade will find me gone
And I’ll be down in Babylon

So slowly slowly enemy
You’ll feel the nights draw in
And did you know what happens next time?
I’ll send you a postcard from down in Babylon

And now my works fetch record sums
And I sleep soundly diagonally
Across the bed where you once lay
And I’ll be damned, I’ll soldier on

So hold your fire and check your charge
Your halftrack heroes are gone
And I won’t hear you when you’re screaming
I’ll write to you from back in Babylon
Track Name: What Where Why How Come
What Where Why How Come

I haven’t seen you for so long
You let your light show fade
You’ve carved a niche out for a crime
And only shards remain

It hurts me see what you’ve become
To see you squawking over scrapes
Just one of many noisy gulls
And ever watchful of your back

And that night we laid out on the grass
And watched the Milky Way
We wondered what where why how come
In a stew and ladled away

I swallow hard and take your hand
And clutch your skin and bone
With gold and jewels you’ve made a grab
To overlay your soul

The conversation stumbles on
It leaves us so so cold
Just motions underneath a mask
Cos it’s the only we know

And that night we laid out on the grass
And watched the Milky Way
We wondered what where why how come
In a stew and ladled away

(indecipherable Joycean genius)

Yes the highs were always cheap
As glib as a telesale
Off the shelf attraction
That’s what you want

And that night we laid out on the grass
And watched the Milky Way
We wondered what where why how come
In a stew and ladled away

And now you’re full of prejudice (anecdotes)
And boring people’s fears (bloated going nowhere)
Of petty squabbles greasy poles (my bile is oh so justified)
And par for the course careers
Track Name: Did You Know The Scientists Think?
Did You Know The Scientists Think?

In the Church of England
You clap your hands
Can be homosexual
Make strawberry jam
So I had a flirtation
With becoming a Muslim
But then I remembered
That you mustn’t get drunk

Forgiveness is easy
In the Church of Rome
You sit in a cupboard
With Father Malone
Well I’ve got a confession
I’m a little bit Jewish
And probably Buddhist
And German too

Did you know the scientists think
That we all have the same mother?

And when at last you finally get it all
Swathed in fairy lights from Woolworths
The beasts will come for you in your bedroom
Doctors, nurses leave your bedside
Bequeath you with your final question
Your own natural selection

Did you know the scientists think
That we all have the same mother?
Track Name: The World According To The Weeples
The World According To The Weeples

Shuffling home, licking my wounds
Where did the year go? Down the sofa
Fading it in, fading it out
The city’s the same now
Just greyer and old
And it’s only according to the weeples that I’m home

Victoria says on New Year’s day
Where did my gauge go I threw it away
Splashing the surf, kicking the sand
Singing the years we’ve left in our hands
And it’s only according to the weeples that I know

Nelly above whispers love in George’s ear
Harry and Phyllis bed down without any fear
Now they’re not here
And it’s only according to the weeples that I know

After we’re done, supposing we died
People will come for our funeral ride
Folding their skirts, smoothing their hair
Glad it’s not their turn, not them, not yet
But that’s the world according to the weeples that I know

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