The Dreadnought Hoax

by Tommy Tiger

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1.
Cascade 02:17
2.
How To Deal With The Dead The scene of a crime / The women and wine She’s killing this game / And moving away To home and beyond / Where the hope is still strong Where alles ist gut / Alles ist klar The forced embraces / In alien places The’s ten stops down on the line And all the fire in her eyes / She’ll stoke it she’ll laugh Give in to human demands What do you mean of course there’s a point here It’s you know… mmm mmm Remember when… oh just think of something That’s the deal so it goes Nothing you learn / And nothing you earn Will fall out unburned / Of the bonfire The kink in the Rhine / The peace in our time Everything goes / And everyone knows That the canny choices of the armed forces Promise to fight for our lives With them on the high ground and us on the low We all know the way this’ll go What do you mean of course there’s a point here It’s you know… mmm mmm Remember when… oh just think of something That’s the deal so it goes
3.
One In The Eye Burn your fingers burning crosses Burning leading men It’s probably your DNA that’s out Cover me in kisses oh you cover them in blows It’s probably your hormones up the spout You reach high get one in the eye Took a chance got crucified Burn next year’s wood supply Slow and sure get one in the eye Get it over, pull the lever, just get this deed done The fickle world of providence and primates Do your press-ups, join a gym and read the Art of War Be care what you wish for when you’re out You reach high get one in the eye Took a chance got crucified Burn next year’s wood supply Slow and sure got one in the eye You crossed the line humbled and troubled Like Jesus Christ facing his mother Come on slutty come on mermaid come on mucky pup The world’s a rogue and bad things just got worse You said you got to Reach high get one in the eye Took a chance got vilified So make sure you’re a passerby Slow and sure in a suit and tie You reach get one in the eye
4.
The Girl From The West Country And never mind, the shame became Unbearable, repackaged again Republican, an Elvis fan He lost his voice and then his man So critical of modern man A campfire host with castanets I knew him before he was gay And now he’s in my family way Fears grow for passing eras That’s a fear I understand Or could you say he was the girl from the West country? He crossed the room fully grown Escaped from our old people’s home A breach of trust, a promised land He lost his voice and then his man But does it matter what you saw You think you’ve seen it all before The situation in the corner shop Was nothing like you’d seen before so Fears grow for passing eras That’s a fear I understand Or could you say he was the girl from the West country?
5.
Meanwhile Down In Babylon You got me quartered in hut one You march your guard dogs on the hour You want me living hand to mouth But watch your back cos I’ll break out And though your search lights point me out And though your barbed wire pins me down One day parade will find me gone And I’ll be down in Babylon So slowly slowly enemy You’ll feel the nights draw in And did you know what happens next time? I’ll send you a postcard from down in Babylon And now my works fetch record sums And I sleep soundly diagonally Across the bed where you once lay And I’ll be damned, I’ll soldier on So hold your fire and check your charge Your halftrack heroes are gone And I won’t hear you when you’re screaming I’ll write to you from back in Babylon
6.
What Where Why How Come I haven’t seen you for so long You let your light show fade You’ve carved a niche out for a crime And only shards remain It hurts me see what you’ve become To see you squawking over scrapes Just one of many noisy gulls And ever watchful of your back And that night we laid out on the grass And watched the Milky Way We wondered what where why how come In a stew and ladled away I swallow hard and take your hand And clutch your skin and bone With gold and jewels you’ve made a grab To overlay your soul The conversation stumbles on It leaves us so so cold Just motions underneath a mask Cos it’s the only we know And that night we laid out on the grass And watched the Milky Way We wondered what where why how come In a stew and ladled away (indecipherable Joycean genius) Yes the highs were always cheap As glib as a telesale Off the shelf attraction That’s what you want And that night we laid out on the grass And watched the Milky Way We wondered what where why how come In a stew and ladled away And now you’re full of prejudice (anecdotes) And boring people’s fears (bloated going nowhere) Of petty squabbles greasy poles (my bile is oh so justified) And par for the course careers
7.
Did You Know The Scientists Think? In the Church of England You clap your hands Can be homosexual Make strawberry jam So I had a flirtation With becoming a Muslim But then I remembered That you mustn’t get drunk Forgiveness is easy In the Church of Rome You sit in a cupboard With Father Malone Well I’ve got a confession I’m a little bit Jewish And probably Buddhist And German too Did you know the scientists think That we all have the same mother? And when at last you finally get it all Swathed in fairy lights from Woolworths The beasts will come for you in your bedroom Doctors, nurses leave your bedside Bequeath you with your final question Your own natural selection Did you know the scientists think That we all have the same mother?
8.
The World According To The Weeples Shuffling home, licking my wounds Where did the year go? Down the sofa Fading it in, fading it out The city’s the same now Just greyer and old And it’s only according to the weeples that I’m home Victoria says on New Year’s day Where did my gauge go I threw it away Splashing the surf, kicking the sand Singing the years we’ve left in our hands And it’s only according to the weeples that I know Nelly above whispers love in George’s ear Harry and Phyllis bed down without any fear Now they’re not here And it’s only according to the weeples that I know After we’re done, supposing we died People will come for our funeral ride Folding their skirts, smoothing their hair Glad it’s not their turn, not them, not yet But that’s the world according to the weeples that I know

credits

released December 25, 2018

written, performed and produced by tommy tiger / recorded and mixed in ellemford, berwickshire, scotland / drums by troy bolero / bass by barnaby ladykiller / backing vocals by mary ball and esther keen / mastered by stuart hamilton at castlesound studios, pencaitland, scotland / artwork and photos by leonie wharton and troy bolero / all songs copyright control / p and c 2018 british sounds / tommytiger.co

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